I aint changing atm..
or some sort of spiritual realiziation...
its just...i been a broken record agianst my grandparents.
and my other family members this year
and this year has been to me the worst one withmy family relationships...
Idk what to do,when sofar i seem to be in a leash with the conservator guardianship im with my grandmother on.
look...they arent bad....there...abit off ....
I know i seem to show some bias and hypocritical defense to what i dealt with ...wether common,or a shock to me.
I still have feel they are to where,i cant handle them.
I try to find something to do more use for,since i cant handle what i am in now
.Financhal limitation in highest....and things i want to save up and get on my own without needing money of theirs,or also to give some financial aid whenever my money is enough and i bought enough
.unable to try to handle a bill myself,due to grandparents doing so and my appointments,and can tell the doc of my behavior,
.Come at times only when my houses a mess
...dose not care for my ambitions,or much
...think im a asshole,and idk nothing,or am someone whos a sinner
(btw dont bring up any religious topic here...)
.Nearly threaten and almost attempted to a fight or to beat the hell out of me when i have myself somewhere...
I mean its obvious they are out of it....
but ...dose that make em horrible...
no of course not,cuz they feed and handle things for me and hell
i feel bad alot when they do...but they due without alot so We can have somehtin on our Birthdays,or christmas
Don;t ya think id not use my own money to get not only better stuff to make even a card ....but buy them something they may like??
I would do so...I care for them and i think of em at times
though...these issues they been giving me even ones i havent mentioned,need to quit...heres me personal deal
.All me acsess to my id,SSN,misc i need when feder law for debit card i have from paypal and when i make any bit of money ill buy something in the store for either them or me...if i can find something thell like and i afford it.
.or,let me go off on my own,cuz....i need to be handling my own bills,my own appointments one day or another
despite my former deal...its sad i am somewhat capable,yet forced somewhat in some way idk how or why, have 2 eldery folk,one sickly and suck as conservator,and other a mean ol sonvabitch
a guardian,with a old malteese,and 12 yrd kid brother who is a snitch,lazy,and is also careless,and a asshole